


Poached Eggs and Boiled Frogs

by mildred_of_midgard



Category: 18th Century CE RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Corporate, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, Humor, M/M, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28198923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mildred_of_midgard/pseuds/mildred_of_midgard
Summary: A CEO and a CTO walk into a bar. Catherine's on the prowl for a chance to expand her empire, while Henry's struggling to keep a startup afloat. Her love life is the stuff of legend, and his a hot mess, as always. But jobs and flings come and go; childhood friendship is forever.
Relationships: Friedrich Heinrich Ludwig von Preußen (1726-1802) & Yekatarina II Alekseyevna | Catherine the Great, Friedrich Heinrich Ludwig von Preußen (1726-1802)/Christian Ludwig von Kaphengst, Friedrich II von Preußen & Friedrich Heinrich Ludwig von Preußen | Henry of Prussia (1726-1802)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 3
Collections: Yuletide Madness 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raspberryhunter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raspberryhunter/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can't read embedded images, or the images are broken, chapter 2 is a full copy of chapter 1, with the images transcribed.

"Henry! I've been looking everywhere for you."

Hearing a familiar voice, Henry turned around. Through the crowded conference ballroom, Catherine, one of his oldest friends, was pushing her way toward him, with her arms held out and a broad smile on her face.

Flooded with shock and delight, Henry excused himself from the casual exchange he was having with a software developer, ran to meet her, embraced her tight, and then took a step back to look at her.

"You look great, Catherine." Henry meant it, even if he'd never mean it sexually. It wasn't her face, or her figure, or her fashion sense, though he knew that people who were into women couldn't stop gushing over those things. It was her bearing: confident, humorous, expansive. She looked like the world was her oyster, and it made his heart happy to see.

"Drinks on me," she announced, and pulled him in the direction of the bar. While she placed their order, Henry scanned the tables, looking for one that gave signs of being vacated in the near future. As soon as he spotted a candidate, he made a beeline for it, not bothering to explain to Catherine, just as she hadn't bothered asking what he wanted to drink. They'd never needed words to coordinate.

Sitting in one chair and placing his laptop bag in the other to signal that it was taken, Henry started scanning through his conference schedule. He needed to head back to the hotel soon if he wanted even half a night's sleep, especially if his boyfriend was also in the mood tonight, but he could cut out at least one of the events later this week. Getting to spend real time with Catherine in person would be worth it. The chicken wing eating competition on Thursday, yes. That he could easily skip. Perfect.

"Nice job getting us a table," Catherine said when she appeared at his side again. "This place is packed. But then you always did have an eye for terrain." She handed him his drink, slung his bag off her chair and onto the floor, and sat down across from him. "We have so much to catch up on. Social media and occasional calls don't cut it."

"I know, it's been far too long." It was hard to remember how long; three or four years, at least. Henry took a sip of his cocktail and nodded his appreciation. "So how's life as a Fortune 100 CEO? And what brings you here? If I'd known you were coming, I would've looked you up before this." They were at the biggest tech conference of the year, where CEOs were thin on the ground. Even Henry's meddling boss wasn't here, though he demanded regular updates.

She glowed. "Busy, but I can't complain. I wish I could tell you everything we're up to--which I could, by the way, if you worked for me--but keep your eye on the news. We have some pretty exciting initiatives coming down the pipeline. As for what brings me to Vegas, I'm doing some networking and keeping my finger on the pulse of the tech world." 

Henry easily translated that as "poaching employees and scoping out potential mergers." He braced himself for the inevitable offer.

"[Stan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanis%C5%82aw_August_Poniatowski) still a stay-at-home dad?" he asked. If he could get her talking about her lovers, maybe he could deflect away from having to tell her no.

"Yep. Can't beat a man who'll take care of kids that aren't even his. He's with them this week; [Sergei](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sergei_Saltykov)'s here with me. And you, I can't tell if you and [John](https://rheinsberg.dreamwidth.org/tag/johann+baptist+mara) are still an item or not."

"Off and on. You know how it goes." They were currently 'off', and Henry didn't want to dwell on it. "[Christian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Ludwig_von_Kaphengst) and I have been getting more serious." Henry felt his body start to grow warmer at the thought. _Tonight_ , he told it, urging patience. _If all goes well._

"Yeah?" She punched him affectionately. "I keep my hands off my friends' boyfriends, but can I just say 'yummy'?" They laughed together easily, and Henry felt oddly pleased at her approval of his choice. Her love life was legendary. "So, marriage serious, or what? I recommend a prenup if you do."

"No. God, no." That prospect was enough to fill him with horror, even without the memories of playing the role of supportive friend through Catherine's bitter divorce, after which she had decided to stick strictly to affairs. "He's spectacular in bed, but I don't think either of us is cut out for marriage. We've taken a leaf out of your book and kept the relationship open. Plus the whole work/life balance..." Did it count as balance if one partner was all work and the other all life? Henry wondered. It certainly didn't make the logistics of conducting a relationship easier.

Catherine's face became more animated, and she leaned forward with her elbows on the table. "I've been meaning to give you a hard time about that, you scoundrel. I can't believe I have to track you down at a tech conference in Vegas in order to see you face to face. Why didn't you come to Europe with me last year? We've been saying since we were kids that we were going someday: London, Paris, Rome. And don't tell me you can't get the time off. I keep an eye on you on Facebook, and I distinctly saw you and your boytoy partying in Atlantic City last week. Which I didn't even think was your idea of fun."

"No, no," he hastened to explain, squirming inside from the secrets he was keeping, "it's not, and I didn't take off work for that trip. I was in New York on business, and Christian wanted to gamble. I only spent the final evening there keeping him company, right before we flew out of Newark. I'm sorry, nothing would make me happier than Europe with you, but I simply can't." 

He was embarrassed to admit even to himself that despite being a C-level now, he still couldn't afford to join her.

Just then, his phone beeped. It was the boss, of course, and for the first time in a long while, Frederick's timing wasn't terrible. Henry hid his relief by feigning the annoyance he would normally feel. "Sorry, I know this is rude, but it's the CEO, and he can't go half an hour without needing to breathe down my neck. It'll be worse if I make him wait. This'll only be a minute."

Catherine watched with narrowed eyes as Henry thumbed out terse responses.

Henry sighed. Try to take advantage of being adjusted to a later time zone and he still one-ups you. "Almost done, sorry."

He'd take some heat for his supposedly cavalier battery usage, but every conversation with Frederick required an exit strategy, or the man would never let you go. Henry snorted. Now there was a thought for a notification sound. There were a few possible songs to choose from, and none of them did he like enough that he'd mind ruining them by association with his own personal pointy-haired boss. "Never Gonna Give You Up"? "Never Gonna Let You Go"?

Tucking his phone back in his pocket and shoving song lyrics out of his head before any could get stuck, Henry gave Catherine a bright, apologetic smile. "Sorry, can't get away. You see how it is." _Thanks for the accidental cover story, Frederick._

"I do see how it is," she said, with a knowing air. "You know, we're-"

"Hiring," Henry and Catherine said in unison. "I know," he said, smiling warmly to take the edge off his refusal. "How do you like your eggs again?"

It was an old joke between them, and she dipped her head in acknowledgement. "Better to be a poached egg than a boiled frog. Your boss turns up the heat and turns up the heat, and you keep putting off jumping out of the pot. You deserve better. If you hear me out, I bet I make you an offer you can't refuse," she said in her best seductive tone, the one she only used on him when talking business.

"I'd love to work with you, I mean it," Henry said, and he did mean it. He simply could not bring himself to admit defeat by quitting. "It's just that there's something about the challenge of taking a startup and making it thrive that really speaks to me, you know?"

"Even when the startup's embroiled in so much litigation it can barely afford to pay its employees?"

"Look," Henry said quickly, "everything that happened during that acquisition was totally above-board." Mostly. Sort of. Possession was nine-tenths of the law, right? "HRE just can't admit that a big conglomerate like them got outmaneuvered in a hostile takeover. The lawsuits are going to be settled in our favor, it's only a matter of time."

"Easy, Henry. I'm not here to throw stones at other people's business practices. All I'm saying is, every time you mention work, you're bitching about your boss, and last time we spoke on the phone, I was buying half your stock portfolio at above-market prices as a favor to you. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to do it, but I'm worried about you. I was going to offer my congratulations on the CTO promotion of a few months ago, but now I wonder if I should offer my condolences. Is money why you couldn't go to Europe with me?"

Henry hesitated for only a second, but in that second he was lost.

Noticing, Catherine turned from scolding to gentle. "Hey there, it's all right. When you do something, you do it all the way. I respect that. It's just--do you know what the sunk cost fallacy is?"

Henry didn't, but he could feel himself getting defensive already. How much had reached her on the grapevine?

"The sunk cost fallacy is justifying throwing good money after bad, literally or metaphorically, because otherwise you'd have to accept the fact that one of your investments has gone bad. The reason it's a fallacy is that a past mistake can't be justified by compounding it with present unhappiness. The rational course of action is to cut your losses and invest in what will pay off now. And I can promise you, working for me would pay off for you. Much more than trying to bail out that sinking ship of a startup."

"I'll think about it," he lied, too grateful she hadn't guessed the truth to bristle at "sinking". Work wasn't what was eating into his funds, or at least not directly. The CTO promotion that he'd fought long and hard for, and that he'd finally been granted last summer, had come with a cost: Christian's firing. Since Henry had been doing whatever parts of the PM job Christian didn't do himself--most of them, admittedly--he thought it was massively unfair of Frederick to punish him for effectively working two jobs by taking away what Henry considered one of the best perks he was getting: the chance to see his boyfriend at work. But Frederick had been unyielding on that point and vulgar in his insistence.

So Henry had retaliated by setting Christian up as the sole proprietor of his own business, running that business himself, and engaging its services at Sanssouci, Inc. Not only was this a wonderful fuck-you to Frederick, but the strategy gave him a pretext for inviting Christian onto the Sanssouci premises. It was no substitute for having him on site all day, but it did allow Henry to get substantial mileage out of the leather couch and en suite bathroom in his new office.

But all this maneuvering had a high price. So did the many business trips Christian wanted to accompany Henry on, none of which could be reimbursed. And that wasn't counting paying off the day-to-day charges on the credit card he'd given Christian. Henry cringed at the thought of what his boyfriend must be up to at the moment. Hitting every casino on the Strip, no doubt.

Compassionately, Catherine reached out and put a hand on Henry's arm. "While you're thinking about it," she said, in a firm voice that made it clear she knew he was dodging, "we're going to Europe next summer. Bring your laptop, Slack your boss, bring Mister Spectacular in Bed if having him along will liven up the vacation, whatever it takes. But you're coming on my next trip, on my dime, and I won't accept any arguments. Consider it doing a favor for me, if that makes it easier. The boytoy drama gets a little old sometimes, and I could use someone I can relax with."

"You're too kind, Catherine." Henry, who'd nearly given up his lifelong dream, tentatively started to let himself hope. He'd need to start laying the groundwork early with Frederick, who would be suspicious from the get-go, and work something out with Christian, who had no interest in Europe, but he hadn't gotten to where he was today without any skill at strategizing. "I don't deserve you."

_Neeeeiiggh! Neeeeiiggh!_

"Not again," Henry sighed, but secretly he was pleased. While Catherine looked perplexed at the appearance of an unseen horse, or perhaps simply at Henry's taste in ringtones, he made a 'just one sec' gesture and pulled his phone out again. He and Christian never talked long. "Hello."

In the background, Henry could hear the kind of shouting that only happens at a really wild shindig. He held his breath, listening to figure out exactly how much Christian had had to drink.

"You planning on putting in an appearance in our hotel room tonight, Henry, or do I gotta kidnap my own boyfriend? I was expecting a text from you hours ago. Crazy workaholic." 

Only a slight slur on the last word, not bad enough to dash Henry's hopes for the evening.

"Make me," Henry taunted him and hung up, grinning. _Fuck, yeah._

Then he turned back to Catherine. He tried to give her the obligatory eyeroll that went with this explanation, but he feared his inability to keep a straight face undercut the effect somewhat. "That was Mister Spectacular. He lives for opportunities to make 'stallion' jokes. It's in his handle on almost every social media platform." Henry had had to talk him out of using it on LinkedIn. "It's from-"

"Oh, from 'Kap- _hengst_ '?" Catherine nodded. As always, Henry was impressed by her quick mind, not only remembering his boyfriend's last name but parsing it in a foreign language on the spot.

"You're good. And yes, I should never have told him it meant 'Cape Stallion'. Now he keeps changing his ringtone on my phone every time I change it back. He thinks it's funny." Again, Henry tried and failed to keep the gleam out of his eye.

"And you think it's hot, I can tell." Laughing, Catherine tossed back the last of her drink, then stood up and clapped him on the shoulder. "Happy riding, old friend."


	2. Text-only Version

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the same as chapter 1, but the images are transcribed for accessibility purposes.

"Henry! I've been looking everywhere for you."

Hearing a familiar voice, Henry turned around. Through the crowded conference ballroom, Catherine, one of his oldest friends, was pushing her way toward him, with her arms held out and a broad smile on her face.

Flooded with shock and delight, Henry excused himself from the casual exchange he was having with a software developer, ran to meet her, embraced her tight, and then took a step back to look at her.

"You look great, Catherine." Henry meant it, even if he'd never mean it sexually. It wasn't her face, or her figure, or her fashion sense, though he knew that people who were into women couldn't stop gushing over those things. It was her bearing: confident, humorous, expansive. She looked like the world was her oyster, and it made his heart happy to see.

"Drinks on me," she announced, and pulled him in the direction of the bar. While she placed their order, Henry scanned the tables, looking for one that gave signs of being vacated in the near future. As soon as he spotted a candidate, he made a beeline for it, not bothering to explain to Catherine, just as she hadn't bothered asking what he wanted to drink. They'd never needed words to coordinate.

Sitting in one chair and placing his laptop bag in the other to signal that it was taken, Henry started scanning through his conference schedule. He needed to head back to the hotel soon if he wanted even half a night's sleep, especially if his boyfriend was also in the mood tonight, but he could cut out at least one of the events later this week. Getting to spend real time with Catherine in person would be worth it. The chicken wing eating competition on Thursday, yes. That he could easily skip. Perfect.

"Nice job getting us a table," Catherine said when she appeared at his side again. "This place is packed. But then you always did have an eye for terrain." She handed him his drink, slung his bag off her chair and onto the floor, and sat down across from him. "We have so much to catch up on. Social media and occasional calls don't cut it."

"I know, it's been far too long." It was hard to remember how long; three or four years, at least. Henry took a sip of his cocktail and nodded his appreciation. "So how's life as a Fortune 100 CEO? And what brings you here? If I'd known you were coming, I would've looked you up before this." They were at the biggest tech conference of the year, where CEOs were thin on the ground. Even Henry's meddling boss wasn't here, though he demanded regular updates.

She glowed. "Busy, but I can't complain. I wish I could tell you everything we're up to--which I could, by the way, if you worked for me--but keep your eye on the news. We have some pretty exciting initiatives coming down the pipeline. As for what brings me to Vegas, I'm doing some networking and keeping my finger on the pulse of the tech world." 

Henry easily translated that as "poaching employees and scoping out potential mergers." He braced himself for the inevitable offer.

"[Stan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanis%C5%82aw_August_Poniatowski) still a stay-at-home dad?" he asked. If he could get her talking about her lovers, maybe he could deflect away from having to tell her no.

"Yep. Can't beat a man who'll take care of kids that aren't even his. He's with them this week; [Sergei](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sergei_Saltykov)'s here with me. And you, I can't tell if you and [John](https://rheinsberg.dreamwidth.org/tag/johann+baptist+mara) are still an item or not."

"Off and on. You know how it goes." They were currently 'off', and Henry didn't want to dwell on it. "[Christian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_Ludwig_von_Kaphengst) and I have been getting more serious." Henry felt his body start to grow warmer at the thought. _Tonight_ , he told it, urging patience. _If all goes well._

"Yeah?" She punched him affectionately. "I keep my hands off my friends' boyfriends, but can I just say 'yummy'?" They laughed together easily, and Henry felt oddly pleased at her approval of his choice. Her love life was legendary. "So, marriage serious, or what? I recommend a prenup if you do."

"No. God, no." That prospect was enough to fill him with horror, even without the memories of playing the role of supportive friend through Catherine's bitter divorce, after which she had decided to stick strictly to affairs. "He's spectacular in bed, but I don't think either of us is cut out for marriage. We've taken a leaf out of your book and kept the relationship open. Plus the whole work/life balance..." Did it count as balance if one partner was all work and the other all life? Henry wondered. It certainly didn't make the logistics of conducting a relationship easier.

Catherine's face became more animated, and she leaned forward with her elbows on the table. "I've been meaning to give you a hard time about that, you scoundrel. I can't believe I have to track you down at a tech conference in Vegas in order to see you face to face. Why didn't you come to Europe with me last year? We've been saying since we were kids that we were going someday: London, Paris, Rome. And don't tell me you can't get the time off. I keep an eye on you on Facebook, and I distinctly saw you and your boytoy partying in Atlantic City last week. Which I didn't even think was your idea of fun."

"No, no," he hastened to explain, squirming inside from the secrets he was keeping, "it's not, and I didn't take off work for that trip. I was in New York on business, and Christian wanted to gamble. I only spent the final evening there keeping him company, right before we flew out of Newark. I'm sorry, nothing would make me happier than Europe with you, but I simply can't." 

He was embarrassed to admit even to himself that despite being a C-level now, he still couldn't afford to join her.

Just then, his phone beeped. It was the boss, of course, and for the first time in a long while, Frederick's timing wasn't terrible. Henry hid his relief by feigning the annoyance he would normally feel. "Sorry, I know this is rude, but it's the CEO, and he can't go half an hour without needing to breathe down my neck. It'll be worse if I make him wait. This'll only be a minute."

Catherine watched with narrowed eyes as Henry thumbed out terse responses.

Verizon 4G 11:45 pm 43%  
Frederick: Did they announce the new processor release?  
Henry: yes  
Frederick: Zoom now y/n  
Henry: negative, busy  
Frederick: When then?  
Frederick: What are you doing rn?  
Henry: tomorrow 7 am my time  
Henry: networking, ttyt  
Frederick: 6 am

Henry sighed. Try to take advantage of being adjusted to a later time zone and he still one-ups you. "Almost done, sorry."

Verizon 4G 11:47 pm 42%  
Henry: fine 6am  
Frederick: Networking with who  
Frederick: Why aren't you responding on Slack?  
Henry: v busy  
Henry: battery dying  
Henry: ttyt, bye

He'd take some heat for his supposedly cavalier battery usage, but every conversation with Frederick required an exit strategy, or the man would never let you go. Henry snorted. Now there was a thought for a notification sound. There were a few possible songs to choose from, and none of them did he like enough that he'd mind ruining them by association with his own personal pointy-haired boss. "Never Gonna Give You Up"? "Never Gonna Let You Go"?

Tucking his phone back in his pocket and shoving song lyrics out of his head before any could get stuck, Henry gave Catherine a bright, apologetic smile. "Sorry, can't get away. You see how it is." _Thanks for the accidental cover story, Frederick._

"I do see how it is," she said, with a knowing air. "You know, we're-"

"Hiring," Henry and Catherine said in unison. "I know," he said, smiling warmly to take the edge off his refusal. "How do you like your eggs again?"

It was an old joke between them, and she dipped her head in acknowledgement. "Better to be a poached egg than a boiled frog. Your boss turns up the heat and turns up the heat, and you keep putting off jumping out of the pot. You deserve better. If you hear me out, I bet I make you an offer you can't refuse," she said in her best seductive tone, the one she only used on him when talking business.

"I'd love to work with you, I mean it," Henry said, and he did mean it. He simply could not bring himself to admit defeat by quitting. "It's just that there's something about the challenge of taking a startup and making it thrive that really speaks to me, you know?"

"Even when the startup's embroiled in so much litigation it can barely afford to pay its employees?"

"Look," Henry said quickly, "everything that happened during that acquisition was totally above-board." Mostly. Sort of. Possession was nine-tenths of the law, right? "HRE just can't admit that a big conglomerate like them got outmaneuvered in a hostile takeover. The lawsuits are going to be settled in our favor, it's only a matter of time."

"Easy, Henry. I'm not here to throw stones at other people's business practices. All I'm saying is, every time you mention work, you're bitching about your boss, and last time we spoke on the phone, I was buying half your stock portfolio at above-market prices as a favor to you. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to do it, but I'm worried about you. I was going to offer my congratulations on the CTO promotion of a few months ago, but now I wonder if I should offer my condolences. Is money why you couldn't go to Europe with me?"

Henry hesitated for only a second, but in that second he was lost.

Noticing, Catherine turned from scolding to gentle. "Hey there, it's all right. When you do something, you do it all the way. I respect that. It's just--do you know what the sunk cost fallacy is?"

Henry didn't, but he could feel himself getting defensive already. How much had reached her on the grapevine?

"The sunk cost fallacy is justifying throwing good money after bad, literally or metaphorically, because otherwise you'd have to accept the fact that one of your investments has gone bad. The reason it's a fallacy is that a past mistake can't be justified by compounding it with present unhappiness. The rational course of action is to cut your losses and invest in what will pay off now. And I can promise you, working for me would pay off for you. Much more than trying to bail out that sinking ship of a startup."

"I'll think about it," he lied, too grateful she hadn't guessed the truth to bristle at "sinking". Work wasn't what was eating into his funds, or at least not directly. The CTO promotion that he'd fought long and hard for, and that he'd finally been granted last summer, had come with a cost: Christian's firing. Since Henry had been doing whatever parts of the PM job Christian didn't do himself--most of them, admittedly--he thought it was massively unfair of Frederick to punish him for effectively working two jobs by taking away what Henry considered one of the best perks he was getting: the chance to see his boyfriend at work. But Frederick had been unyielding on that point and vulgar in his insistence.

So Henry had retaliated by setting Christian up as the sole proprietor of his own business, running that business himself, and engaging its services at Sanssouci, Inc. Not only was this a wonderful fuck-you to Frederick, but the strategy gave him a pretext for inviting Christian onto the Sanssouci premises. It was no substitute for having him on site all day, but it did allow Henry to get substantial mileage out of the leather couch and en suite bathroom in his new office.

But all this maneuvering had a high price. So did the many business trips Christian wanted to accompany Henry on, none of which could be reimbursed. And that wasn't counting paying off the day-to-day charges on the credit card he'd given Christian. Henry cringed at the thought of what his boyfriend must be up to at the moment. Hitting every casino on the Strip, no doubt.

Compassionately, Catherine reached out and put a hand on Henry's arm. "While you're thinking about it," she said, in a firm voice that made it clear she knew he was dodging, "we're going to Europe next summer. Bring your laptop, Slack your boss, bring Mister Spectacular in Bed if having him along will liven up the vacation, whatever it takes. But you're coming on my next trip, on my dime, and I won't accept any arguments. Consider it doing a favor for me, if that makes it easier. The boytoy drama gets a little old sometimes, and I could use someone I can relax with."

"You're too kind, Catherine." Henry, who'd nearly given up his lifelong dream, tentatively started to let himself hope. He'd need to start laying the groundwork early with Frederick, who would be suspicious from the get-go, and work something out with Christian, who had no interest in Europe, but he hadn't gotten to where he was today without any skill at strategizing. "I don't deserve you."

_Neeeeiiggh! Neeeeiiggh!_

"Not again," Henry sighed, but secretly he was pleased. While Catherine looked perplexed at the appearance of an unseen horse, or perhaps simply at Henry's taste in ringtones, he made a 'just one sec' gesture and pulled his phone out again. He and Christian never talked long. "Hello."

In the background, Henry could hear the kind of shouting that only happens at a really wild shindig. He held his breath, listening to figure out exactly how much Christian had had to drink.

"You planning on putting in an appearance in our hotel room tonight, Henry, or do I gotta kidnap my own boyfriend? I was expecting a text from you hours ago. Crazy workaholic." 

Only a slight slur on the last word, not bad enough to dash Henry's hopes for the evening.

"Make me," Henry taunted him and hung up, grinning. _Fuck, yeah._

Then he turned back to Catherine. He tried to give her the obligatory eyeroll that went with this explanation, but he feared his inability to keep a straight face undercut the effect somewhat. "That was Mister Spectacular. He lives for opportunities to make 'stallion' jokes. It's in his handle on almost every social media platform." Henry had had to talk him out of using it on LinkedIn. "It's from-"

"Oh, from 'Kap- _hengst_ '?" Catherine nodded. As always, Henry was impressed by her quick mind, not only remembering his boyfriend's last name but parsing it in a foreign language on the spot.

"You're good. And yes, I should never have told him it meant 'Cape Stallion'. Now he keeps changing his ringtone on my phone every time I change it back. He thinks it's funny." Again, Henry tried and failed to keep the gleam out of his eye.

"And you think it's hot, I can tell." Laughing, Catherine tossed back the last of her drink, then stood up and clapped him on the shoulder. "Happy riding, old friend."

**Author's Note:**

> USA setting (with Anglicized names for consistency) for alignment with the corporate culture of the recipient, who prompted for "corporate AU" and "Heinrich and Catherine as BFFs".
> 
> Serial numbers barely filed off AWS re:Invent. ;)
> 
> In case the image links break again: [first image link](https://i.imgur.com/EKhvAY4l.png) and [second image link](https://i.imgur.com/aEfsT3Nl.png).
> 
> Historical parallels:
> 
> Catherine the Great was known for her generosity, and that had the effect of allowing her to poach big name artists and intellectuals from all over Europe to her court.
> 
> She and Henry were lifelong friends, starting in childhood.
> 
> She did try to get Henry as one of her satraps, but Frederick refused permission, and Henry steadfastly remained loyal to Frederick, despite everything.
> 
> Henry's boyfriend Kaphengst was so expensive that Henry had to put off a much longed-for Paris trip (not with Catherine) for years, as well as sell part of his painting collection to Catherine, in order to pay off Kaphengst's debts.
> 
> At one point, Frederick gave Henry a large gift of money, but made it a condition that Kaphengst had to go. Expressed in unprintable language, apparently. So Henry bought Kaphengst a huge country palace nearby and continued seeing him for another ten years.
> 
> Comment by a visitor after seeing the [palace in question](https://rheinsberg.dreamwidth.org/22874.html#cutid2), which today is used for German state visitors: "Good lord, Kaphengst must have been _spectacular_ in bed."
> 
> When Henry first decided to go visit Catherine, the two of them had to strategically lay the groundwork far in advance in order to get permission from a very suspicious Frederick. Kaphengst went on Henry's first trip to Russia, but not his second one.


End file.
